My Miscarriage Experience

OK, so I'm awful at keeping up with a consistent blog. I just have to face the truth, I'm terrible at it! But I did want to share this experience with others and felt this was the best way to do it.

First of all I want to say thank you to everyone who sent out prayers and well wishes. It means a lot to me to have such great friends and family in my life. I really appreciate your words of comfort and kindness.

So, let's begin at the beginning. Andrew and I decided we would try for Wild baby #3 at the end of August. And we were successful, as has been typical for us. But from the beginning something didn't feel right. Not physically, I just had a feeling of concern. I asked Andrew for a blessing. For those unfamiliar with this, it's when a priesthood holder (any worthy male in our church can hold the priesthood) puts his hands on a person's head and pronounces words of comfort, guidance, healing, whatever the Lord wants the person getting the blessing to hear. So, it's as if God were standing there with you, it's the words He would say to you just through another person. Any how, in my blessing Andrew said the Lord was watching over me and that He wanted to see this through to a successful conclusion. I was told to trust in the Lord and His plan. I felt good after the blessing, it was very comforting. So I decided not to worry and kept that thought in mind, about the Lord seeing the process through to a successful conclusion.

Then a few weeks later things started to go wrong physically. Not too bad, but I could tell again that something wasn't right. I kept reflecting on the blessing I had received and felt comforted but was still a little concerned that something was wrong. But how could something be wrong if the Lord wanted to see this through to a successful conclusion? Then the thought came "What the Lord considers successful and what the world would consider successful are not always the same". Then the idea came to me that this could be a miscarriage. Bleeding that was spotty and intermittent got heavy and a little painful and I decided to got to the hospital.

At the hospital we learned that it was in fact going to be a miscarriage. They told me I was 8 weeks along, and the fetus was still very small. But I needed to know if it passed because if it stayed in me I could get an infection. It was possible I would need surgery, I had to have blood work done, I might need medication, etc. Lots of variables. They told me to go see my doctor the next day for a follow up.

That night after the hospital Andrew gave me another blessing. He said the Lord was mindful of us and still has many blessing yet in store for us. I felt very strongly that that included more children. Again, another wonderful blessing. I felt comforted and at peace with our experience thus far.

So, that brings us to today, 10/19/11. I went to my midwife's office for another ultrasound. She wasn't in the office yet though. When she got in she called me and said she wanted to check me to see if she could see where the fetus was and see how the miscarriage was progressing. If she couldn't see it I would have to go back to the office tomorrow. If it wasn't out by next week then I'd need more ultrasounds. It would be a process. So, I went back to her office late in the afternoon. I prayed all the way there that she would just be able to find the fetus and remove it for me. I was stressed out about not knowing exactly what was happening. And I was so done with the process, I just wanted it to be over. When she checked me I heard her say, "Oh! It's right here". So she just removed it and now the process is complete. I didn't experience too much pain. Some heavy bleeding but not too bad. All in all I would say it was a successful conclusion to this experience. For some reason it was part of my plan, and the Lord was with me though it.

I know that a miscarriage is not a huge deal. With all the things that could go wrong this has really been a blessing. For some reason this experience has made me have greater love and a new appreciation for those around me. Not just my beautiful boys and amazing husband, but really everyone around me. It has helped me know even more strongly that Heavenly Father knows me and is involved in my life. I know that before I came to earth He and I made a plan for me, and He will guide me and help me to follow that plan if I let Him. I know that His way is not always easily understood, but it is always the best way.