Companionship Inventory

When I was a missionary we did companionship inventory every week. It was a time to plan together with my companion. It was also a time to share testimony of the Savior, share what things I liked about my companion and give advice as to how she could improve. After 6 years of marriage my husband and I finally decided this was not only a good idea but a necessary tool to keep our marriage healthy in a world where the family is under attack.

Andrew had never done comp. inventory on his mission so he was a little hesitant at first. But he came around and we make time for inventory every Sunday. We plan our week, then we discuss any "business", typically financial issues, then we say what we appreciate about each other, talk about areas we could improve (if any), and share testimony. It has been great. And just recently we decided that since we do not have time for companionship study every day, comp. inventory is the time for us to choose a topic to study during the week and then the next comp. inventory we discuss what we learned and choose a new topic. I think Andrew and I had a good relationship anyhow, we're both big on communication, but this consistent planning and all other parts of comp. inventory have strengthened our relationship more than I ever thought possible. It's really been a blessing. Life gets so busy and it's easy to live this kind of parallel life where you're just passing each other by. But inventory is the time to stop, focus on our relationship, and build each other up. We focus on new goals together and we are accountable to each other for our study and progression. It's great to have a partner to work with in striving to reach eternal life. It's really an important tool for couples to use whether or not the religious aspect is involved.

A word of caution though, when suggesting areas for a spouse to improve choose just one thing and think before you speak. Be kind and humble, both parties have to decide ahead of time to be teachable. And one more thing, don't do it last minute right before bed when you're tired and not really logical. It gets kind of silly sometimes in the pointless, "Why did I even bring this up?" kind of way.

I love the gospel and I'm so thankful the Lord had provided us with the proper tools so that we will have success in all that we do. Companionship inventory is just one piece of the puzzle. For more puzzle pieces check out Mormon.org. The gospel is amazing!

Why I Am A Mormon

I am a Latter-Day Saint ("Mormon") for many reasons. One big reason is the gospel makes sense to me. Can you believe it?! Religion and God actually making sense!?! It's true. But besides that, I have felt the truthfulness of the gospel confirmed to me by the Holy Ghost. What does that mean? Well, it's hard to say. It's like trying to explain what salt tastes like to someone who's never tasted it before. You have to try it for yourself.

Learn more about the church:


and my conversion here:
mormon.org/me/3HZV/

Decisions

*Just a note: All things I post pertain to me and my own experiences. NOTHING is meant as a judgement toward anyone else. I always appreciate other points of view so feel free to post. Thanks and much love!

So I decided to go back to school to finally earn my degree. I was a Dance Performance major at Rhode Island College after I graduated high school but after 3 years of that I stopped school to serve a full-time mission for my church. Then I got married to my high school sweetheart who was in college at the time because he had stopped attending school as well to serve his mission. We had our second son a week before my husband graduated, so I didn't go back to RIC to finish my major. Instead I am studying with the BYU Idaho Pathways program. It's an online course of study, but for the first year you meet on Thursdays at a local church building with the other students in your area who are also part of this Pathways program. It's been a great experience thus far and I really love my classmates.

This past week's class was on decision making. I learned a lot. I also had a chance to reflect on my experience this past week. Having a miscarriage is no small experience. I realized I was making decisions throughout the process that I wasn't even really conscious I was making. I was proud of myself because I made the decision to see the Lord's hand in the experience and look for the blessings rather than feeling like "Woe is me". I've come a long way, I had a lot of "woe is me" experiences when I was first married. But I realized that when you're feeling sorry for yourself you're a burden on those around you because they feel like they need to put their energy into lifting you up. And you're useless to the Lord because He can't use you to serve His children if you're only focused on yourself.

The thing I learned, which I think I knew already but had never felt so strongly until this experience, is that when you decide to trust in the Lord and thank Him for your blessings even in the midst of trials, He will make your burdens light. It reminds me of a scripture in the Book of Mormon. The prophet Alma and his people are in bondage and this is what happens. The Lord said:

 14 And I will also ease the ^aburdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as ^bwitnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their ^cafflictions.

 15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did ^astrengthen them that they could bear up their ^bburdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with ^cpatience to all the will of the Lord.

(Mosiah 24: 15-16)

The Lord Himself invites us to come unto Him, "For [his] yoke is easy, and [his] burden is light". It really was a great experience. I know life comes with trials, that's why we're here. I know I will have more to face in my life. I hope that I can come through every experience feeling so strongly the hand of the Lord. And I hope the same for you. If we decide to continue in study and prayer and strive to have the Holy Ghost with us always, I think we will succeed. It's all about decisions.

My Miscarriage Experience

OK, so I'm awful at keeping up with a consistent blog. I just have to face the truth, I'm terrible at it! But I did want to share this experience with others and felt this was the best way to do it.

First of all I want to say thank you to everyone who sent out prayers and well wishes. It means a lot to me to have such great friends and family in my life. I really appreciate your words of comfort and kindness.

So, let's begin at the beginning. Andrew and I decided we would try for Wild baby #3 at the end of August. And we were successful, as has been typical for us. But from the beginning something didn't feel right. Not physically, I just had a feeling of concern. I asked Andrew for a blessing. For those unfamiliar with this, it's when a priesthood holder (any worthy male in our church can hold the priesthood) puts his hands on a person's head and pronounces words of comfort, guidance, healing, whatever the Lord wants the person getting the blessing to hear. So, it's as if God were standing there with you, it's the words He would say to you just through another person. Any how, in my blessing Andrew said the Lord was watching over me and that He wanted to see this through to a successful conclusion. I was told to trust in the Lord and His plan. I felt good after the blessing, it was very comforting. So I decided not to worry and kept that thought in mind, about the Lord seeing the process through to a successful conclusion.

Then a few weeks later things started to go wrong physically. Not too bad, but I could tell again that something wasn't right. I kept reflecting on the blessing I had received and felt comforted but was still a little concerned that something was wrong. But how could something be wrong if the Lord wanted to see this through to a successful conclusion? Then the thought came "What the Lord considers successful and what the world would consider successful are not always the same". Then the idea came to me that this could be a miscarriage. Bleeding that was spotty and intermittent got heavy and a little painful and I decided to got to the hospital.

At the hospital we learned that it was in fact going to be a miscarriage. They told me I was 8 weeks along, and the fetus was still very small. But I needed to know if it passed because if it stayed in me I could get an infection. It was possible I would need surgery, I had to have blood work done, I might need medication, etc. Lots of variables. They told me to go see my doctor the next day for a follow up.

That night after the hospital Andrew gave me another blessing. He said the Lord was mindful of us and still has many blessing yet in store for us. I felt very strongly that that included more children. Again, another wonderful blessing. I felt comforted and at peace with our experience thus far.

So, that brings us to today, 10/19/11. I went to my midwife's office for another ultrasound. She wasn't in the office yet though. When she got in she called me and said she wanted to check me to see if she could see where the fetus was and see how the miscarriage was progressing. If she couldn't see it I would have to go back to the office tomorrow. If it wasn't out by next week then I'd need more ultrasounds. It would be a process. So, I went back to her office late in the afternoon. I prayed all the way there that she would just be able to find the fetus and remove it for me. I was stressed out about not knowing exactly what was happening. And I was so done with the process, I just wanted it to be over. When she checked me I heard her say, "Oh! It's right here". So she just removed it and now the process is complete. I didn't experience too much pain. Some heavy bleeding but not too bad. All in all I would say it was a successful conclusion to this experience. For some reason it was part of my plan, and the Lord was with me though it.

I know that a miscarriage is not a huge deal. With all the things that could go wrong this has really been a blessing. For some reason this experience has made me have greater love and a new appreciation for those around me. Not just my beautiful boys and amazing husband, but really everyone around me. It has helped me know even more strongly that Heavenly Father knows me and is involved in my life. I know that before I came to earth He and I made a plan for me, and He will guide me and help me to follow that plan if I let Him. I know that His way is not always easily understood, but it is always the best way.